“Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.”
There’s a profound truth in this metaphor—life is full of turbulent waters, but it’s what we allow inside our hearts and minds that determines whether we stay afloat or begin to sink. When hurt, disappointment, or anger seeps in, it can weigh us down, leaving us adrift and disconnected from ourselves.
“I Release You”
Forgiving someone is often spoken of as a path to freedom. Yet, what happens when forgiveness feels impossible? What if the person who has hurt you doesn’t acknowledge their actions, refuses accountability, or continues to behave in ways that harm you? Forgiveness, in these moments, can feel like an uphill battle—one you find yourself climbing again and again, only to end up in the same place.
But what if there’s another way?
Instead of trying to forgive someone over and over, consider the idea of releasing them.
Release vs. Forgive
When we hold onto the expectation that someone should change their behaviour or take responsibility for their actions, we unknowingly keep ourselves tethered to them—and to the pain they have caused. We give away our power, allowing their actions to weigh us down like water flooding a ship.
Releasing someone doesn’t mean excusing their behaviour or pretending the hurt never happened. Instead, it’s an act of letting go:
- Letting go of the expectation that they will behave differently.
- Letting go of the power they hold over your thoughts and emotions.
- Letting go of the pain you are unintentionally reinforcing by holding on.
When you release them, you are also releasing yourself. You are freeing yourself from the hurt, disappointment, and frustration that weigh you down.
An Invitation to Release
Today, I invite you to try something new. Replace the word “forgive” with the word “release.”
Ask yourself:
“How do I release this person?”
Instead of:
“How do I forgive this person?”
Releasing shifts the focus from changing someone else to empowering yourself. It allows you to stop pouring energy into something you can’t control and start reclaiming your peace.
What Release Looks Like
Releasing someone might mean:
- Recognising that you can’t control their actions or choices, but you can control how much power you give them.
- Affirming to yourself: “I release you. I release this expectation. I release this hurt.”
- Redirecting your energy back to your life—your goals, your healing, and your growth.
It’s not about forcing yourself to forget or dismiss your feelings. Instead, it’s about acknowledging the pain, honouring your emotions, and then choosing to let go. Releasing allows you to close that chapter, without waiting for anyone else to write the ending for you.
Shift Your Focus Back to You
Once you’ve chosen to release, bring your attention back to the present moment. What do you need today? What brings you joy, peace, and fulfillment?
Imagine how light you will feel when you no longer carry the weight of someone else’s actions. Imagine what you could focus on, create, or become when you are no longer held back by expectations that they will change.
A Gentle Reminder
The act of release is a gift you give yourself. It doesn’t require their participation, their apology, or their change. It’s a declaration of freedom—a quiet but powerful way of saying:
“I choose me. I choose peace. I release you.”
And in that moment, you take back your power.
Let today be the day you stop trying to fix the unfixable, and instead, focus on what you can change: how you show up for yourself, and how you continue to rise, lighter and stronger.
What or who can you release today?
